This is my daily bus catching story. Before I tell you mine, let me ask you how do you manage to catch the right bus on road? May be by seeing the bus number or the place name written on the top of the front glass or may be hearing the ear pinching voice of conductor..but do you know how do I manage every morning? It's my self discovered way in Hyderabad. I catch bus seeing color, size and conductor of it. I've noticed a bus that comes almost at same time to my place and goes to my office. So, I wait for that everyday, but it's not as simple as it's appearing here. Ofcourse, I made mistakes in doing so but only once!! quite impressive success rate....!! Isn't it?
Now, I know the questions that you would ask me. Why don't I go for other buses? Very obviously, there are other buses also that I see to go on the same way but, they confuse me more. How? Let me frist explain you the bus transport system here. In Hyderabad, there are different types of bus services available. I guess the types are four or may be more. In case of intracity movement, they have deluxe metro, deluxe express, normal red buses and Setwin services. The first three types are Govt services and they are like paying a lot to fuck a foreign hooker and then realise that's a painted one, without any other choice left. These buses have different colors (Green, red and blue) to distinguish among themselves. All these buses have route numbers which varies from simple numeric to alpha numeric.(More details are available at APSRTC website. Yes, their bus service have websites!! unlike West Bengal) More interestingly, they have huge number of these buses running on the road in good frequency. Can you believe it? Govt. Buses in ample numbers running on the road, and they all are excellent conditioned. A picture of developing India...
Now, going back to the color and alpha neumeric route coding system, where exactly my confusion starts from. You see, how many variables are there, 4 types of buses, 4 different colors, Each services run on all the routes. So, at least 16 different buses in one route. For example, one day I noticed that the bus number 10 goes to my office and I target that. Upon my successful boarding, I paid my fair to the conductor and asked for the ticket, he gave me a look with all the expressions mixed of laugh, wonder, fun, anger, frustration and what not, then he grinned to the extend as he could shoeing all his not properly brushed teeth and told, "Yeh 10 nehi, 10M hai". Actually, instead of telling me the right bus number, I think he was more keen to know "who the hell let this idiot come to Hyderabad?" In fact all the passengers were staring at me as if they're seeing a fucking dumbo for the first time in their life who has got the wrong bus. But, yes that's the truth. With all their funny expressions the ultimate understanding was that "I'm in a wrong bus". Fortunately, that conductor was kind enough to drop me at a place where from I took an auto to go to office. On the same day in office, I browsed through the great APSRTC website and to the fullest of my surprise I found 11 subtypes of the bus number 10!! Now, What The Fuck is this? Are they taking memory test of common people? What type of test this could be? I think matching with "On-line" test this could be an "On- road" test. I also discovered that this could be one of the reason for Andharites having lesser brain but greater memories. Anyway, coming back to APSRTC website details, these buses are classified with alphabetic suffix after their main route code(e,g; 10M, 10N, 10L blah blah blah...). Their starting points are same, Secunderabad but they all goes to different places. So, different suffixes from different routes.Sounds logical? But, sorry not to me, because all the 11 types comes to my boarding point and take diversion after that. SO for me all the 11s are 10 only. So, this ends my bus no. 10 endeavour. Oh ho, another twist still remains, 10M follows one route while going but takes different route in return journey. So, again confusion !!
Your second question will be, can I not choose bus by seeing the destination name written in front of the buses. Yes, you are right, I have thought about that. But, I think one should remember that this is India and every and other state has love for their mother tougue. Fellows like me are then in the soup. All the old buses have names written only in Telugu. If you have a good star, you can see few of them have names written in English. This will make you delighted for having a chance in other buses. Wait a minute...the bus comes, ogles people out, gulps people in and vanish....all these happens in motion....The bus never stops fully. So, where are you after the bus has gone? You are still in the middle of the road. Because, in that 7 sec time, yes it takes max 7 sec to complete the full acts to the driver and passengers, you were busy to read the name written in English. In most of the cases the name plate is not properly aligned and being at the bottom of that plate, the English names are hardly visible. There can be other reasons like the name plate has its own age so the person can't read the name in 7 sec. I wish I can show you some of these plates. I, personally, do have another reason for failing to read those names. It's my height! I keep jumping between the pavement and the road like small monkey kids, I try all possible angles just to read the names but the result remain the same. It happens a couple of times that I could manage to read the names and will full of joy I go to the door to get into the bus but mean time it starts taking speed and the word that buzzes in my head is "Bus, train aud Ladki k peche kabhi mat bhago, ek jayegi to dusri ayegi". So I let them go.
By the way, if you feel that I'm trying to point out the bad sites of AP bus services, of course not. How can I forget that I'm from West Bengal and Bus service there....better I shut my mouth here. Finally, I should tell you about my favourite and only bus. "The Setwin Service". This is blue and white bus. Actually it's a mini bus. The uniqueness of this service is, the conductor will take money from you but will not give you ticket. Shocked!! Yes, that's the fact. Don't worry, there is sure shot chance of making black money out of it but not as much as you and I are thinking. Actually, the background story is like this. The bus owners bid in govt. auction and win the annual license for driving their buses in specific routes and then they enjoy it. I appreciate this effort of the govt. They realises their shortfall and come out with a solution too. Even the fares are controlled by Govt. Only and they keep it lower than those govt. buses. So, now do you understand why I call them, painted foreigner hooker? Basically the Setwin buses are like govt. regulated private one. Most importantly, I love to ride these buses. They are small, cute, sexy and fast..running through the road as a 8 year girl with full of enthusiasm. In traffic, it makes its way winking at those biggies stuck in the middle of the road. So, in all cases they are good and I just love it man....
Now, I know the questions that you would ask me. Why don't I go for other buses? Very obviously, there are other buses also that I see to go on the same way but, they confuse me more. How? Let me frist explain you the bus transport system here. In Hyderabad, there are different types of bus services available. I guess the types are four or may be more. In case of intracity movement, they have deluxe metro, deluxe express, normal red buses and Setwin services. The first three types are Govt services and they are like paying a lot to fuck a foreign hooker and then realise that's a painted one, without any other choice left. These buses have different colors (Green, red and blue) to distinguish among themselves. All these buses have route numbers which varies from simple numeric to alpha numeric.(More details are available at APSRTC website. Yes, their bus service have websites!! unlike West Bengal) More interestingly, they have huge number of these buses running on the road in good frequency. Can you believe it? Govt. Buses in ample numbers running on the road, and they all are excellent conditioned. A picture of developing India...
Now, going back to the color and alpha neumeric route coding system, where exactly my confusion starts from. You see, how many variables are there, 4 types of buses, 4 different colors, Each services run on all the routes. So, at least 16 different buses in one route. For example, one day I noticed that the bus number 10 goes to my office and I target that. Upon my successful boarding, I paid my fair to the conductor and asked for the ticket, he gave me a look with all the expressions mixed of laugh, wonder, fun, anger, frustration and what not, then he grinned to the extend as he could shoeing all his not properly brushed teeth and told, "Yeh 10 nehi, 10M hai". Actually, instead of telling me the right bus number, I think he was more keen to know "who the hell let this idiot come to Hyderabad?" In fact all the passengers were staring at me as if they're seeing a fucking dumbo for the first time in their life who has got the wrong bus. But, yes that's the truth. With all their funny expressions the ultimate understanding was that "I'm in a wrong bus". Fortunately, that conductor was kind enough to drop me at a place where from I took an auto to go to office. On the same day in office, I browsed through the great APSRTC website and to the fullest of my surprise I found 11 subtypes of the bus number 10!! Now, What The Fuck is this? Are they taking memory test of common people? What type of test this could be? I think matching with "On-line" test this could be an "On- road" test. I also discovered that this could be one of the reason for Andharites having lesser brain but greater memories. Anyway, coming back to APSRTC website details, these buses are classified with alphabetic suffix after their main route code(e,g; 10M, 10N, 10L blah blah blah...). Their starting points are same, Secunderabad but they all goes to different places. So, different suffixes from different routes.Sounds logical? But, sorry not to me, because all the 11 types comes to my boarding point and take diversion after that. SO for me all the 11s are 10 only. So, this ends my bus no. 10 endeavour. Oh ho, another twist still remains, 10M follows one route while going but takes different route in return journey. So, again confusion !!
Your second question will be, can I not choose bus by seeing the destination name written in front of the buses. Yes, you are right, I have thought about that. But, I think one should remember that this is India and every and other state has love for their mother tougue. Fellows like me are then in the soup. All the old buses have names written only in Telugu. If you have a good star, you can see few of them have names written in English. This will make you delighted for having a chance in other buses. Wait a minute...the bus comes, ogles people out, gulps people in and vanish....all these happens in motion....The bus never stops fully. So, where are you after the bus has gone? You are still in the middle of the road. Because, in that 7 sec time, yes it takes max 7 sec to complete the full acts to the driver and passengers, you were busy to read the name written in English. In most of the cases the name plate is not properly aligned and being at the bottom of that plate, the English names are hardly visible. There can be other reasons like the name plate has its own age so the person can't read the name in 7 sec. I wish I can show you some of these plates. I, personally, do have another reason for failing to read those names. It's my height! I keep jumping between the pavement and the road like small monkey kids, I try all possible angles just to read the names but the result remain the same. It happens a couple of times that I could manage to read the names and will full of joy I go to the door to get into the bus but mean time it starts taking speed and the word that buzzes in my head is "Bus, train aud Ladki k peche kabhi mat bhago, ek jayegi to dusri ayegi". So I let them go.
By the way, if you feel that I'm trying to point out the bad sites of AP bus services, of course not. How can I forget that I'm from West Bengal and Bus service there....better I shut my mouth here. Finally, I should tell you about my favourite and only bus. "The Setwin Service". This is blue and white bus. Actually it's a mini bus. The uniqueness of this service is, the conductor will take money from you but will not give you ticket. Shocked!! Yes, that's the fact. Don't worry, there is sure shot chance of making black money out of it but not as much as you and I are thinking. Actually, the background story is like this. The bus owners bid in govt. auction and win the annual license for driving their buses in specific routes and then they enjoy it. I appreciate this effort of the govt. They realises their shortfall and come out with a solution too. Even the fares are controlled by Govt. Only and they keep it lower than those govt. buses. So, now do you understand why I call them, painted foreigner hooker? Basically the Setwin buses are like govt. regulated private one. Most importantly, I love to ride these buses. They are small, cute, sexy and fast..running through the road as a 8 year girl with full of enthusiasm. In traffic, it makes its way winking at those biggies stuck in the middle of the road. So, in all cases they are good and I just love it man....
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